my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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