puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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