New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
