What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
