im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
