it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
