Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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