Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
