We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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