You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
