Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
