I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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