all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
