Your face is a jimmy john
Soap is not a condiment
I could make wine with my vomit
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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