Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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