3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
