i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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