he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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