I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
