I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
