Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
