Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
