we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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