I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
