dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
