guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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