His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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