She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
