I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
