my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
