all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
