I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
