I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
