There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
