I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
