I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
