I cockslap morals
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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