Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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