i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
