My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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