Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
