i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
