We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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