okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
