as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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