So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
