yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
