no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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