sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
