YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
