i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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